Jog on Tim Mathieson

Who writes for the Daily Telegraph these days? The front page of their online newspaper is titled:

First Bloke Tim Mathieson Goes To Ground

Tim Mathieson

The opening paragraph reads:

USUALLY seen waving from the prime ministerial jet, former hairdresser and former first bloke Tim Mathieson cut a furtive figure yesterday while wandering the lawns of The Lodge.

Now ignoring the newsworthiness of any word from ‘hairdresser’ to ‘lodge’ this article is clearly thrown together in 17 seconds to fill a slow, no, or ‘can’t be bothered’ news day.

1 Usually seen waving from the Prime Ministerial jet 

Put his name into Google images and you see Tim:

Playing cricket, supporting Julia, opening men’s sheds, going to football games, cooking and riding huge motorcycles.This hairdresser rides hogs.

Jet photos? ZERO.

It’s both a lie and an insinuation that he leads some sort of privileged life of luxury.

2. Furtive means ‘Attempting to avoid notice typically because of guilt or a belief that discovery would lead to trouble; secretive or suggestive of guilty nervousness.’

What does he have to feel guilty about? What is he trying to avoid?  He’s looking through the trees to make eye contact with the camera.

3. Wandering implies he’s aimless lost and dithering around. We didn’t call John Howard’s famous morning activites ‘wanderings’.

For both Tim and John, you call it walking, jogging or not-quite-running.

4. Goes to Ground would suggest he is escaping, hiding, burrowing, or frantically fleeing. But again he’s jogging which means fleeing at a very mild and safe pace. 

NB: ‘Goes to ground’ can also mean he’s being hunted. Which perhaps the Telegraph is doing.

5. The remaining words of the article are not about Tim, the Lodge, hairdressing, fleeing or jets at all. Cut and paste Telegraph. Cut paste.

Also I don’t know what he’s doing below but you go Tim!

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