Warner ‘I didn’t punch him, I just punched his beard’

‘I didn’t punch Joe Root. I punched a wig-beard that happened to be on him.’

David Warner has finally come out to silence his critics and defend his actions after an apparent unprovoked attack on English player Joe Root. At the time Root was holding a green and gold wig to his chin – appearing to wear it as a fake beard.

“I found his fake wig-beard routine very offensive. Although I accept that I might have misinterpreted his comedy routine.”

The night’s event’s apparently took a turn when Warner thought Root’s actions were an impression of bearded South African batsman Hashim Amla:

” I thought it was offensive to him. To insinuate that his beard is green and gold is just wrong. Because it’s not. It’s a lovely dark brown.  Also why does Joe think that Amla’s beard is only held on his chin by his hands? I’m quite sure it’s a real beard that grows out of his chin and not made out of wigs.”

While seeming to misunderstand the nature of comedy Warner continued:

“Anyway I know Amla’s beard is real because when he bats he has to use both hands and doesn’t hold them to his chin. If he did he couldn’t hold the bat. And then the ball would hit him. And then he’d get out and probably wouldn’t be in the South African team. And I know for a fact he is. Because I’ve seen him in it. Although now that I think about it, the beard could be glued onto his face, but then Joe didn’t say that in his impression.”

To try and mend the damage, Warner offered some helpful advice to Joe Root to help avoid future misunderstandings:

“Joe’s a funny guy. I mean his surname is Root. That’s hilarious. That’s what I learned at my all boys private school. Joe should just say it over and over and over, and stay away from wig-beards.”