Choose your free death letter!

Today NSW Parliament is voting on assisted suicide. Here are two objective letters to send your MP, depending on whether you’re for or against the issue.

If you oppose the bill

Dear MP,

I’m very worried about this assisted suicide bill. I’m also worried about aliens and people with green eyes but that’s in my following anxious letters.

Now I’ve been hit in the balls before and wanted to die, imagine if they come over to assist in my suicide every time that happened.

But enough about my balls, what about people who want to die? Shouldn’t the time of your death be left to god? If these people who want to die don’t follow the bible strictly they’re obviously not true believers and god will smite them anyway.  Then of course they’d be going to hell, which I’m all for.

And might families pressure people to end their lives? If only there were people to make sure this didn’t happen. Unfortunately the bill says they only have to talk to a social worker then a medical doctor, then another medical doctor, then a trained caring psychologist and then have a 72 hour cooling off period. I don’t see the word people in any of that!

Finally I don’t think they should die because most of them are not just ill, but also very old. If they die who will help me write grumpy complaint letters to the ABC? I’ll be all on my own!

Anxious and paranoid, (insert name).

If you support the bill

Dear MP,

WTF?? Let people die with dignity if they want to. They have to go through a social worker, two doctors, a psychologist and then a 72 hour waiting period. Safety ensured. Job done.

Pass the bill. Don’t be a dick.

Your right-minded friend, (Insert name).

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