Jarryd Hayne sues Daily Telegraph

Dear Daily Telegraph, This is the front page of the your paper today – something something horses it seems.


The next four pages – the same story. Something something horses.

photo (2)

photo (1)What’s the problem? Something something horses but nothing nothing Jarryd.

Your failure to mention the Parramatta Eels biggest star (me) anywhere on the first 5 pages is an offense to people who love NRL, cars and the one real side of the boat people issue. Which I’m pretty sure is everyone.

On they’re behalf I’m I’m bringing a class action against you. And it’s going to be full class – rats tail. So watch out.

We will be claiming that you’re stupid 5 page story today has denied us all the real information about Jarryd and other important things we can usually get from you:

What is happening with Kyle Sandilands?


Just put this lady on the cover and say ‘naked’. That’s all I need to know – it’s called being efficient.


Give me an awesomely crazy lead story and an even crazier banner full of famous people who couldn’t possibly be linked.


Say ‘ALP’ and ‘waste’….then just put a photo of a cute deer. Job done.


You know this so why are you hurting all of us now?

It’s called NEWS and it should should be on the first 5 pages. As a Parramatta guy I need to be out there driving up and down church street revving my engine.

I don’t have time to turn pages Daily Telegraph.

Please make Lotto twice as big tomorrow and I’ll withdraw my law suit. Actually, I didn’t know you needed a special suit to wear to court anyway.

Thank you.


(I think that’s how I spell my name)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s